Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I Have a Secret Life

Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a blog when you're trying desperately to keep the people you know from finding out?

That's what I've been doing for, well, the entire time I've been doing this. I'm not exactly "anonymous," yet I'm completely uncomfortable with the thought of people in my life reading what I write.

My family doesn't even know I'm going to the Financial Blogger Conference in October. They think I'm going to a training for work. I guess I'll have to hide my t-shirt and tote bag when I get home, which is a little pathetic.

I'm not sure why I don't want my family and friends to know about SOD. Well, that's not true. I know exactly why. First, my finances are detailed here for all the world to see. I don't mind telling you guys that stuff, but I don't really want to share it with the neighbors. Second, I'm able to be myself here, without worrying too much about my "other" life. Finally, I'm a little afraid of how people would react. I can imagine the conversations already:

My mom: You overspent on restaurants AGAIN this month? People are going to think I didn't teach you how to cook a proper meal! And what's this stuff about us not teaching you to manage money? I don't want anyone thinking I'm a bad parent.

My friends: Were you talking about me when you posted all that stuff about shopping and overspending? Because that's just rude. Well then who was it about? I promise I won't tell!

My boss: I notice some of your posts were published during working hours. Also, you need to remove anything that implies negativity about the company. I don't care that you didn't mention it by name - people know where you work.

My ex: I always knew you talked trash about me! You make me sound like a loser who can't manage money! I want all this crap off the internet!

Yeah, not my idea of a fun time. So I work on posts late at night, early in the morning, on weekends, or during slow times at work. I'm often frustrated that some of my awesome late-night drafts totally suck the next morning, or that I miss posting about a lot of world events because I couldn't get a minute to myself.

This may reveal my inner nerd, but I really like having something that no one knows about, yet everyone knows about. Hidden in plain sight. Kind of like when serial killers return to the scene of the crime or keep body parts in a refrigerator (only in a much less disturbing way). Disclosure: I am not a serial killer.

I may not ever come out of the blogging closet. I don't know. I just want you guys to know that when I don't post for awhile, it's not because I'm doing something exciting like jumping out of a plane or winning the lottery. It's definitely not because I'm a serial killer! Most likely, it's because I'm around people who simply cannot know about my blog at this point in my life.

Fellow bloggers - Are you anonymous? Semi-anonymous? How do you balance your bloggy activities with real life?


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